Kiss My Grits

I have an ulcer.

No really, I do.  It totally kicked into gear yesterday and I thought I was going to die.  It is ridiculously painful.  Stress is completely running a muck through my body.  It's total bullshit.  I feel better today as I drank a bottle of Maalox and took some Zantac,

I have a ton on my mind.  The job search is frustrating as hell.  I am in freak out mode about finances.  Did I mention that I owed over $2,000 in taxes?  Yep.   Awesome.  My lease is up in September.  My money runs out in June.  I am losing it.

And Mercury is in retrograde.  For real, Mercury...cut it out.

Regardless if you are into astrology or not, you will notice that things are chaotic or messed up around you at random times of the year.  Electronics go haywire, communication is general is fubar - whether technical or actual conversation and things just seem difficult.  Everything is a mess.  When you notice this, go check it out online.  I bet anything that Mercury is in retrograde.  Basically it slows down, so appears to be going backwards.  Many negative events have historically taken place during those periods.  Could be a coincidence.  All I know is it messes with my shit.  And underlying issues come out of the closet.

You cannot hide from your inner feelings.  It seems to make the truth come out.

Stupid Mercury.
Retrograde Info

I know I have been very emotional, very stressed, and freaked out on my boyfriend during our visit.   I don't mean I yelled at him or something dumb.  I was having some rational fears about moving out there and broke down about it.  Again, I am in freak out mode.  I have a ton of changes that need to take place.

Baby steps.  Today, I chill out, write a bit and sleep off the ulcer pain.  Tomorrow is another day.

I had a show last night and we could not get the mics to work,  Kyle broke his piano,  we bought a mic cord that was bad - we finally decided to do an acoustic show.  Well, Kyle was plugged in, but not into a system.  it actually turned out pretty well.  Someone took pictures - I should hopefully have some up soon. 

Did you all love "Alice" as much as I did?  Of course I loved it.  Sass running wild.  Between Flo and Alice I learned a lot about giving lip and being sarcastic.  Damn, Alice (well the actress that played her) had awesome delivery.  I was not a fan of Vera though.  I was never a fan of Chrissy on "Three's Company" either.  I am  not fond of using being dumb as a comedic device.  The exception is Vinnie Barbarino on "Welcome Back Kotter"  I was down with him. In general,  I hate stupid people so do not find it humorous.  You should all know this fact about me.  You should also know that I am fully aware of my grammatical errors.  If that makes me a bit of a hypocrite - whoopsies.

Anyway,  Flo.  God love her.  Gentlemen, sit back for this one, as I am about to get personal.  Not a big deal - just a little warning.  I was once a snare late for the period and called my girlfriend up when I finally started and it was brutal.   All I said to her was "kiss my grits" and she knew what I meant.  Flo.  Get it?

It was really funny when it happened.  I guess it's not that great of a story.

I need a nap.  Go watch some Alice and have a great day!  Love to you all. 

I'm a Karate Man

Despite having a total bullshit cold, I had a pretty cool couple of weeks.  My sweetheart came to visit for like 10 days, which is a big deal, apparently.  My friends were all "how did it go?" when he left.  It did not even occur to me that we would have deal breaking time; but I suppose spending that much time, 24/7 is a huge indicator of what's to come.  Other than both of us getting sick, it was awesome.

I did realize though that I am super crabby when I am sick.  I usually hide, like a wild animal.  Because "I'm a karate man.  Karate man bruise on the inside; don't show no weaknesses"  (I know Smarty and Mac will get the movie)  That does seem to be my philosophy though.  My dad is a bit stoic, I must get it from him.  Though I have the uber sensitivity of mom.  Awesome - I got all the leftover genes.  Anyway,  I completely hermit out when I am sick.  I usually have no one around me and I whine and crap while I take care of myself.  Not whine that I am alone; whine about how much snot is coming out of my head.  Where does it come from, my god?  Do I have a tap into some spring or something?!  So it was interesting having him there with me.  I found myself mood swinging, like a damn alcoholic.    Come here to me...go away...no wait come here...ugh leave.  That was going on in my head anyway.  As soon as I felt better, which was of course the day he was leaving; I was like I cannot believe that I thought for a second I did not want him around.  And it totally sucked to have him leave. Though I am seeing him again in a couple of weeks.

Anyway, I think that having a cold is a bit of a hurdle in a relationship.  We got to be around each other when we were ill and survived.  Luckily I did not get too ugly while he was here.  I get real ugly when I have a cold, so he has that to look forward to.  Child, I am not pretty when I get really bad sinus issues.  Man, that is some heinous bullshit that happens to my face.

I have been slacking on the home front though and actually need to clean my place up.  One of my closest friends from college is coming to visit this weekend.  I am super stoked.  We met on the first day of school.  I sat next to her in Communications and did not have my book yet.  She offered to share and we hung out like every day after.  Love her.  She lives in San Diego.  Last time I saw her was in 2004 I think.  Booo.  We often do not talk for months, maybe even a year; but as soon as we speak to each other, it just feels like home.  Soul sisters, I guess.  Cannot wait to see her.

Fatally Cool had a show last night.  We decided to improve some stuff in there, just to change things up.  We usually have a very specific set list because it's a performance art piece and has a story line.  A bit like a musical, really.  But after we performed at bigger nightclub, we decided that we need to be more rock band.  It was a fun show.  I was struggling a bit, but held my own I think.  My band mate Manny & I decided to throw in "Rid of Me" by PJ Harvey.  A song I have only recently discovered, despite it being from the 90's.  We had never ever done it together - at all.  We kind of sang it in the corner together quietly right before the show, but that was it.  It was well received though - so yay for us.  In honor of St. Patty's Day, we all also did a completely improvised mash up The Cranberries "Zombie" and U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday".  I think I am brilliant for thinking that up (which I had before, it was something we were going to work on, but did not have time to do), to be honest.  I mean, they are two major war/conflict songs.  Not really happy drunk Irish crap at all.  It was fun though.  I fucked up some parts, but whatever.  i was a snare tone deaf last night.

Hope all of you beautiful people are well and have a glorious weekend!

Music Makes the World Go Round

I keep missing the sign up for the guitar class that I want to take and it gets filled up.  I even have Groupons, so they are paid for.  I need to use them.  I have this amazing guitar that I cannot play.  Silliness.  I need to sign up mid April.  Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to remind me.

I have a band called Fatally Cool.  We do random covers and mashups.  In our latest show, we have a storyline that follows a woman with relationship and identity issues, her boyfriend that molests her son and the boy's doll/imaginary friend that helps him cope.  It's actually not that dark musically, but writing that - it seems like a drag.  It's really not though.  I've linked a you tube video of one of our songs.  We have a channel now: FatallyCoolForever.  Though my band mate has more videos on his channel.  If you are curious you can look up Fatally Cool or check out the links below.

Lullaby

Father Figure

Don't Stop

I have to be honest, I was not at my best that night, but the show must go on!  I will be posting more videos later.