The Balancing Act
We're Not Lost - Official Band Website
Sometimes I take my computer to bed with me. I have trouble sleeping and if I am going to channel surf for something to watch on my favorite website ever, Hulu, take it with me as opposed to leaving it on my dresser with a movie playing or something.
Last night after a nice long call on Skype with my man, I decided to check some email, blogs, etc; then watch something and go to sleep. Do you guys use Skype by the way? It's awesome. Fifteen years ago my parents paid like $20 to talk for a few minutes to relatives in Greece. Now I can call them and actually SEE them and it's all part of my internet service. I can't exactly say "free" because you pay for an internet connection right? But basically, it feels like it's free. And who doesn't like free?!
So this little nugget comes to snuggle up with me and the computer. I have my laptop on the bed and I am sitting up. He cozies in between my leg and the laptop. I find this funny blog and am enjoying it. Suddenly, stuff looks weird and the screen flickers.
Get your paws off the keyboard!
Ugh. I go to "follow" that blog and the print in the window is monstrous. I cannot scroll down in it either, so I cannot choose to follow any blogs right now. Annoying.
The blogs themselves look normal, but my dashboard, the page that I am on now typing this, comments - basically any additional window is humungaloid.
I am thoroughly annoyed.
That little critter totally changed my setting somehow. Do you think I can figure it out? Of course not. I am a bit challenged in that department. Lucky for me, the boyfriend knows or can figure out how to do anything. So he is obviously going to be checking that out this weekend. Fyi, sugar, my comp is being funky. Thanks!!
We are very yin and yang, which I think is why we work so well. We seem to compliment each others strengths and supplement each others weaknesses. I am really good about money in the moment and immediate future. I find deals, know when to stock up, know how to be frugal and really make things seem like I am not living on a pittance. He is good about long term investments. Together that makes for a pretty comfortable financial situation. He's organized, but not koo-koo like I am; yet he is less cluttered than I - so we balance each other out there as well. Emotionally as well, we see things that the other may not. It just works.
Balance is super important in a relationship. I have been in one sided relationships when I was younger and they are not fun. They leave you drained and unhappy. I like to be giving, but when it goes reciprocated it becomes a problem. I am super grateful that I have someone that I can be completely myself with, someone that I can give as much as I want to because I know I will get it back in return. When you are both in the habit of giving, you are both fulfilled, you know? Everyone wins.
Women are often taught to give too much of the themselves. We are taught to deplete ourselves in order to be a good wife, mother, sister, friend, lover, worker (I have done that one way too often). If you deplete yourself to death, somehow that makes you a good person.
I am no martyr.
I can sum it up like this: first you put on your oxygen mask, then you assist anyone that needs assistance.
Why do they say this on an airplane? Because people forget that if you are not healthy yourself, if you are not safe or satiated or breathing - you cannot actually help anyone around you. You are not a help or comfort to anyone when you are not okay yourself. You are not actually a strong woman if you are not taking care of yourself. If you are not taking care of yourself, you do not have enough to actually give. You are simply running on fumes. You are going to kill the engine.
Being strong does not mean being a sacrificial lamb. Being strong means you can handle your shit and also accept from others. Being strong means that you have enough for yourself and so can spread the wealth.
I was determined to find someone that I could have balance with. I wanted to be able to give of myself freely to someone that deserved it. Someone I could grow with, nurture and be nurtured by. I would not stand for less that equal give and take. I know, I know, I am being sappy. But honestly, I have waited patiently for a really long time to be with the right person.
Worth the wait.
