One Ring To Rule Them All

I have been a busy bee.  I am planning a move cross country.

Yes, I am California bound.

I have had my freak-outs about it.  I am sad to leave my dear old dirty town.  I love Chicago so much.  But let's be honest; it is not giving me what I need.  Will I return?  It's very likely.

It's time for a new era.  I actually said a few years ago that if Daley was no longer mayor that I'd scram.  I guess I put it out into the universe.

But change is needed and change is good.  It's time.

Another change: in about twenty four hours my left ring finger will have a permanent adornment.

I haven't seen it yet and am so excited.  And I am so excited to start this new part of my life with him.  It is truly amazing that we found each other.

I try not to talk about it too much.  I am not the most romantic person sometimes.  I think because it makes me uncomfortable sometimes when people are too mushy and I do not want to be the cause of that.

See you after I am affianced.  Meanwhile enjoy this:

Insomnia Can Kiss My Grits

I have a long time battle with insomnia.  Seriously, it's all hundred years war in my world.  Now I know how Joan of Arc felt.

I was up all night on Wednesday.  I figured that I would get a little sleep during the day, since I was planning on hanging out at my friend's pool yesterday.  Nope.  The weather was chillsville.  We hung out, but could not go in the water.  There was some Artic bullshit coming in across the Lake that was causing a scene.

Whoa is me.  My life is so hard...I couldn't go swimming.

Anyway, we went out for some din din in the evening and decided to take a little cruise up to Evanston.   We are super hungers at this point and are not thinking clearly.  We find a spot to park and decide to take a stroll to find a place to eat, since the restaurant we thought looked cute actually wasn't.  After several blocks, we see a cupcake place.  Twenty feet away is a little Mediterranean joint.  She's all "Let's just got here - plus, it's close to the cupcake shop".  Good ol' T.  I can always count on her to want to be naughty with the food.

Umm..by "naughty" I mean wanting to eat something decadent - not being pervy.

Anyway,  in comes a huge ass storm.  Fireworks, I tell you, that culminates in torrential rain when we are wanting to leave the restaurant.

We take a deep breath, I take my sandals off (ever try running or walking in the rain with heeled sandals?  Not a pretty site.), and dive in.  Yipes!  It's like taking a cold power shower.  After a minute or two, I am like "I cannot possible become more drenched."

We make it to the car and seriously need to put through one of these:

I remember my mom having one of these.  Well not like this one; but a washing machine with a wringer.  It was in the first house I lived in, though we also had a normal one.  I know she had previously used it though. What a freaking pain in the butt.  We are so lucky now.  Can you imagine how cumbersome laundry was to do?  We can at least dump it in the machine and walk away from it now.

We did not have one of these, so simply had to sit our soaked asses in the car and drive home.  Don't think for a minute that we did not stop at Baskin Robins drive through (thru?) and get some ice cream though.  Ladies still want their dessert, even when they look like drowning kittens.

I absolutely crash out after the adventure.  I zonk out on the couch only to wait up, pert as a morning lark, at 3 am.  Come on, dude.  Give me a break.

Ah. Nell...the world seriously could use some Nell right now.  I know I could.  Is Gimme a Break on Hulu?  I need to check that out.

Arty and The Angry Grinch

My band mate is performing a run at Mary's Attic.  He is performing Hedwig with guest artists.  They do the opening act and then perform songs from the show with him.  Our band finally decided to perform with him in August.  I cannot wait!  It's a good excuse to learn some new material.

Here's one of my faves from the movie / broadway musical.  Hedwig just gets dumped by her husband after she underwent a sex change in order to leave East Germany and go with him to America.

It is actually amazing what a little make up and hair can do to a girl.  Do not even think that I am not writing this while waiting for my hair color to set in.  A girl needs to keep the hair looking right.  Also, I swear to baby Jesus that I do not feel right without make up.  I am one of those gals.  I need a painted face to look right to myself.  Even when I look au naturel, it's because I am a master of nude colors.  I may look like I have nothing on, but I do indeed.  Though I prefer a it of glam; it's just not always appropriate.

Today I cleaned my place up, as my sweety is coming to visit.  I seriously was being negligent.  What is with me lately?  I think I may be a snare depressed.  I have lost a little bit of my sparkle.  I am sure I'll get it back.  I feel like it's because I have plans and they are on hold for a bit.  I am not the most patient person sometimes.

I went to the laundromat since the facilities here are abysmal and actually priced too high.  Screw the landlord.  I cannot believe how much they want to charge.  And there are only two machines.  And I have to go up and down five flights and go outside.  Whatever.  I usually just wait until it piles up and then got to the laundromat.  It actually takes less time.  In like 2.5 hours or so I am comepletely done, folding and all.

So I am folding what has already dried and this chaos walks in.  She yells at the Asian dude sitting by the door. "You could be a gentleman and get the door, you know!  You see me here."  She apparently fumbles and he kind of giggles.  I think he did not get what she said and feels uncomfortable.  Then her phone rings and she is all "If it's not the phone, it's something else!"

My god woman,  do you hate existence that much?!

To the unfortunate person on the horn: "Who is this?  What do you want?  Who is this?  Who?!"  Yikes.  What a first class beyotch.

Then her equally cranky friend shows up.  They load up their laundry.  And, of course, she completely overloads her machine.  It is howling.  She promptly goes outside to smoke.  Awesome.  Thanks so much.  We are all so happy that you came here.  It's interesting to me how one's energy can effect the environment.  She was so angry.

Then when I was leaving she was all smiles and talking to me.  Huh?  I just smiled and said something in agreement (I do not even remember to what) and left.

Anyway, I am showered and the hair is freshly colored.  There is no shame in my game.  I color my hair.  And I have to do it often because it grows quickly, so I do it myself.  When my hair is shorter, don't think that I do not wear phoney ponies either.  I love them.  Love.

I am super hungry, but something tells me we are not going to go on our ritual run to the waffle house down the street when Mac arrives.  The waffle shop has super yummy breakfast deals.  And by "something", I mean the torrential rain.  I am grateful, however, that it did not rain on my way home with my clean clothes in tow.  It was misty.  I actually ran.

Can you imagine?  My chubby ass, running down the street (okay sprinting), with a shopping cart full of clothes....glorious.  I am a goddess.  Clearly.

Total 180.  You know what song always makes me cry?

"No Woman No Cry" by Bob Marley.

Every damn time.  Without fail.  It's the sentiment; it's his vocal tone.  He just gets the waterworks going with that song.  Huge bless.  He is the one "hippie" I love.

By the way, little darling, don't shed no tears; everything's gonna be alright.

They Try to Copy My Swagger

Look at Tina Fey's kid.  That is one confident little girl.  And possibly the coolest kid ever.  Though Kinston is pretty awesome.  Gavin Rosdale & Gwen Stephani's boy.

I am a super crabby apple cake.  Lord have mercy.  PMS is crushing my soul.  Though really, it's not.  I find that it's just that I am more sensitive, so things that always bother me are not being swept under the rug.  I tend to want to me more confrontational.  I mean, people get on my nerves...often.

Part of it is that I analyze everything.  I am talking everything.   So when someone interrupts when I am speaking, that equals "I do not care what you have to say, I am more important than you"

You can say that they are not thinking that, but really....deep down they are.  And it's fucking annoying.  One of my girlfriends does it to me all the time.  Like I start a sentence and she completely takes over.  Honestly, all I can do is trow my hands in the air in exasperation.  I actually did that while I was walking down the street talking to my sweety (sorry honey).  I was like "oh my god, let me finish my thought".  I actually just stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

Why do people do this?  And why the fuck do they do it to me?  I must be too polite about it.   It kind of makes me want to cry because it frustrates me so damn much.  I apparently need to be more vocal about it.  It's an issue.  I am quite aware of it.

I want to get a word in. Why do I have to be silent?  If you don't want to listen, let's not talk - how about that?

Last night I was talking to my man and my bestie interrupted.  I told him I was on the phone (on FB - he sent a message that he was going to call me).  He decided to call anyway and proceeds to speak loudly on the machine (yes, I have a land line also) and though he was being funny I thought maybe something was up.  So I answer it and he starts talking about nothing important and doesn't shut up.  I was like "I am on the phone - what's up?"

After a few minutes, an exasperated Mac is like - "Call me back."  I do not blame him for being annoyed.  He should have been the priority.  And he was in my heart.  My friend was just being obnoxious.  It was annoying.  I was so frazzled.

So I am on the phone with my friend for a bit and the whole time I am completely irritated, concerned that Mac is upset, and annoyed because I have never interrupted my friend when he was talking to his boyfriend.  I don't call him when he is about to have dinner with him and then say - "you see him all the time; talk to me."  Frankly, he just would not have answered the phone, which is what I should have done.  I noticed this pattern with us in the last year.  I am always available, he is only available when it's convenient.  It's bullshit.

Yet he did run out and get me meds when my ulcer freaked out on me last week.  Friendships have their struggles.  I am sure he is dealing with the fact that I am moving.  We've actually had nothing but time to spend together while I have been out of work.  I think he is realizing that he should have taken advantage of our schedules.  He works odd shifts, so it's pretty easy for us to get together.

Did I quote the Black Eyed Peas as my title?  Forgive me.  But I had to.  Look at the mini-Fey.  She has so much swagger!

Tonight is a fun filled evening with my girl and My Life With the Thrill Kill Cult and Front 242.  Bring on the industrial.

I Am Gonna Blow It Up With My Spicyness

Something California does not have is giardiniera.   It's apparently a Chicago thing and frankly, something I cannot live without.  If it is not a common thing in your region, do not be fooled by the vinegar soaked spicy pickled salad they pass off as giardiniera.  Not that that stuff is bad.  It's a good relish; it's just not the same thing.

Every time we go shopping out there, I look for it.  They simply do not have it.  It is a sin.  A sin, I tell you.  I decided to take some with me, like a pack mule.  But I made a huge mistake.

I usually check my bag.  Just because I am paranoid and also because I throw things in my suitcase at the last minute.  I do not want to worry about it.  I also am all of 5'1", which makes the task of using the overhead bin a challenge.  I know I can ask for help, but I just do not want to deal.  Check it and forget about it.

I was taking a bunch of toiletries to leave out there, so I would just have everything I need out there.  No need to carry all that stuff every single time, you know?  I know I need perfume, makeup and deodorant, conditioner - just leave it there.

My bag was a tad heavy.  It was 52 lbs.  The person at check-in asks if I can take something out.  In my haste, I think "the giardenera is exactly 2 lbs."  She tells me that food items are fine.  So I take it out.

As I am in the security line, I think that maybe that was a bad call.  It is after all packed in oil.  And I clearly am going to endanger everyone on the plane with my chopped celery, carrots, peppers, and cauliflower.  Especially since I honestly can barely keep my eyes open when flying.  I sleep like a baby Stella.

Those TSA mother fuckers snagged my food.  For real.  They took it.  And I do not mean the confiscated it and tossed it.  They TOOK it.  I was like "ok, I'll throw it out" and they said that they had to scan again.  They went through my bag, removed it.  Told me they had to rescan all of it, but did not rescan the jars.  They sat neatly on the top of the machine.  Wrapped in the towel and Ziploc bag.

Tell me that the agents did not have some yummy sandwiches that night.  I swear.

Am I really a threat?  Good lord.

Then some jamoke says to me " you know you can mail that stuff right?"

I was all "really?  you can mail things?"  What a chump!  Yeah, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend since they don't have it out there, you dumb moose knuckle.

Though I have yet to be groped in security.  So hooray for that.  I was super paranoid about that happening.

Here's some straight edge punk rock for you.

Roll With the Punches

What happens when you meet the person of you dreams and they live over 1,000 miles away?

Speaking for myself - you freak out a little.

I have no doubts about my man.  It's not even an issue.  But my world is about to be turned upside down and I am wigging out.

There are so many things I like about moving to CA.  Nice weather and being with him.  I am going to go back to school out there.  It's really going to be a great new chapter in my life.  And, oh my God, fresh fruits and veggies.  I am spazzing about that.

There are good things, great things for sure.  I am just a person that is slow to change.  I usually do need something crazy to happen in order to get me out of my doldrums and vague contentedness.

I am in a panic, I admit, about finances.  My money runs out in June, my lease is up in September.  We are talking about living together as soon as we can.  Though that prospect makes me happy, there is still the feeling of - "oh my god, I have to wrap everything up here, I have to say goodbye to people"  It's totally freaking me out.

I am a creature of habit.  I am concerned about things like finding a new doctor that I like.  Totally random, I know; but I love my doctor.  I have been her patient since I was 23.  She knows everything about me.  I hate the idea of finding a new one.

It's those little things that I am freaking out about.  I mean, I've lived in the same apartment for 7 years, with the same landlord for 13.  BubblesDeux wants to move out here, maybe she'll sublease my place if I need to move before September.

He's a relationship person, I am a total single girl.  It's not a monogamy issue, because I am super down with that.  In fact, it's a requirement.  I just mean that I am not used to someone being up my butt.  I go for days without speaking to people.  Like I do not talk to my girlfriends everyday

It's just all happening so fast is all.  To be honest, I knew that I was going to find my partner last year.  I called it from January 1 of 2010.  I told my bestie that 2010 would be a year of completion and I just knew.

After I met him (we spent NYE 2011 weekend together) and talked to her, she was like "in typical fashion - you wait until the last minute"

I run late for everything.  Did you all forget?

Will that drive him crazy?  Probably.  But I warned him from day one.  I am just one of those people.

I am going to go for a walk, pick out some plants (like from the store, not from a neighbor's yard can you imagine?), and fill up my flower pots.  It was 82 in Chicago yesterday.  82! It's early for that here.   I think we have snow or some shit next week.  Mother Nature...you silly goose.

Have a glorious day, kittens!

Here's some Sloan for you.  The song starts about 2:45 in if you want to fast forward.  It's a long video for some reason.

And a live version.  I love these guys, even though their last album sucked donkey balls.  Their old stuff is magic.  Magic, I tell you.

Balancing Acts

What a fun band from the late 80's.  Loved them in college. I may have to listen to them later.
The Balancing Act
We're Not Lost - Official Band Website

Sometimes I take my computer to bed with me.  I have trouble sleeping and if I am going to channel surf for something to watch on my favorite website ever, Hulu, take it with me as opposed to leaving it on my dresser with a movie playing or something.

Last night after a nice long call on Skype with my man, I decided to check some email, blogs, etc; then watch something and go to sleep.  Do you guys use Skype by the way?  It's awesome. Fifteen years ago my parents paid like $20 to talk for a few minutes to relatives in Greece.  Now I can call them and actually SEE them and it's all part of my internet service.  I can't exactly say "free" because you pay for an internet connection right?  But basically, it feels like it's free.  And who doesn't like free?!

So this little nugget comes to snuggle up with me and the computer.  I have my laptop on the bed and I am sitting up.  He cozies in between  my leg and the laptop.   I find this funny blog and am enjoying it.  Suddenly, stuff looks weird and the screen flickers.

Get your paws off the keyboard!

Ugh.  I go to "follow" that blog and the print in the window is monstrous.  I cannot scroll down in it either, so I cannot choose to follow any blogs right now.  Annoying.

The blogs themselves look normal, but my dashboard, the page that I am on now typing this, comments - basically any additional window  is humungaloid.

I am thoroughly annoyed.

That little critter totally changed my setting somehow.  Do you think I can figure it out?  Of course not.  I am a bit challenged in that department.  Lucky for me, the boyfriend knows or can figure out how to do anything.  So he is obviously going to be checking that out this weekend.  Fyi, sugar, my comp is being funky.  Thanks!!

We are very yin and yang, which I think is why we work so well.  We seem to compliment each others strengths and supplement each others weaknesses.  I am really good about money in the moment and immediate future.  I find deals, know when to stock up, know how to be frugal and really make things seem like I am not living on a pittance.  He is good about long term investments.  Together that makes for a pretty comfortable financial situation.  He's organized, but not koo-koo like I am; yet he is less cluttered than I - so we balance each other out there as well.  Emotionally as well, we see things that the other may not.  It just works.

Balance is super important in a relationship.  I have been in one sided relationships when I was younger and they are not fun.  They leave you drained and unhappy. I like to be giving, but when it goes reciprocated it becomes a problem.  I am super grateful that I have someone that I can be completely myself with, someone that I can give as much as I want to because I know I will get it back in return.  When you are both in the habit of giving, you are both fulfilled, you know?  Everyone wins.

Women are often taught to give too much of the themselves.  We are taught to deplete ourselves in order to be a good wife, mother, sister, friend, lover, worker (I have done that one way too often).   If you deplete yourself to death, somehow that makes you a good person. 

I am no martyr.

I can sum it up like this: first you put on your oxygen mask, then you assist anyone that needs assistance.

Why do they say this on an airplane?  Because people forget that if you are not healthy yourself, if you are not safe or satiated or breathing - you cannot actually help anyone around you.  You are not a help or comfort to anyone when you are not okay yourself.  You are not actually a strong woman if you are not taking care of yourself.  If you are not taking care of yourself, you do not have enough to actually give.  You are simply running on fumes.  You are going to kill the engine.

Being strong does not mean being a sacrificial lamb.  Being strong means you can handle your shit and also accept from others.  Being strong means that you have enough for yourself and so can spread the wealth.

I was determined to find someone that I could have balance with.  I wanted to be able to give of myself freely to someone that deserved it.  Someone I could grow with, nurture and be nurtured by.  I would not stand for less that equal give and take.  I know, I know, I am being sappy.  But honestly, I have waited patiently for a really long time to be with the right person.

Worth the wait.

Lord Have Mercy

So I was just blog surfing a bit by hitting the "next blog" button up at the top.

Ummm....every single blog was about Jesus.  I lie - one was by a Muslim woman.  But all the other ones, and I mean like 10 or more in a row were god or christian related.

For real?

I mean, people feel connected and want to write the good word.  Good for them.  I was just amazed that every single blog I hit was religious based.

Does blogger go to blogs it thinks you want?  If so there is definitely something wrong with that system.  Where it thought it saw that I wanted that is beyond me.  Or is Blogger trying to save me after I posted a picture of the kitchen witch?

Hard to tell.

I had to break down and get antibiotics. I know...right after I posted about holistic health.  But that stuff is not going to heal  me in the immediate future and I literally cannot breathe.  Like I am so stuffed up that not only can I not breathe, but my nose is running.  You know what that means?  I cannot blow my nose.  I have to sit there with a freaking tissue (notice I am trying to behave with my language?) held up against my schnaze.

I am so unbelievably gross right now, I cannot even deal with myself.  I have become a mouth breather for crying out loud.  It's hard to drink water even.

The silver lining, because you know I always find one, is that - well two things:

1) I was able to breathe for approximately one minute and was cheering, much to the delight of my boyfriend who I was on the horn with.  Poor guy has had to deal with me complaining and mouth breathing and trying to blow my nose for days now.

2) The only thing that is at all pleasing and easy to eat is ice cream.  So yes, I am indulging.  I had coconut yesterday and bought some butter pecan and vanilla (there were on sale - gotta love buy on get one free) when I went to get drugs this evening.

I hate having to take drugs, but I simply could not take it anymore.  I hate the side effects that sometimes antibiotics cause, but decided that I need some air.

Which is a great song by Urge Overkill by the way, "Need Some Air".  I will have to listen to that tomorrow or right now.  Man, they are fantastic.  Happy listening, should you decide to. 

I couldn't find it for you online, but did find "Sister Havana".  Enjoy!

http://youtu.be/yzFlPdHt1Gk

I'm a Karate Man

Despite having a total bullshit cold, I had a pretty cool couple of weeks.  My sweetheart came to visit for like 10 days, which is a big deal, apparently.  My friends were all "how did it go?" when he left.  It did not even occur to me that we would have deal breaking time; but I suppose spending that much time, 24/7 is a huge indicator of what's to come.  Other than both of us getting sick, it was awesome.

I did realize though that I am super crabby when I am sick.  I usually hide, like a wild animal.  Because "I'm a karate man.  Karate man bruise on the inside; don't show no weaknesses"  (I know Smarty and Mac will get the movie)  That does seem to be my philosophy though.  My dad is a bit stoic, I must get it from him.  Though I have the uber sensitivity of mom.  Awesome - I got all the leftover genes.  Anyway,  I completely hermit out when I am sick.  I usually have no one around me and I whine and crap while I take care of myself.  Not whine that I am alone; whine about how much snot is coming out of my head.  Where does it come from, my god?  Do I have a tap into some spring or something?!  So it was interesting having him there with me.  I found myself mood swinging, like a damn alcoholic.    Come here to me...go away...no wait come here...ugh leave.  That was going on in my head anyway.  As soon as I felt better, which was of course the day he was leaving; I was like I cannot believe that I thought for a second I did not want him around.  And it totally sucked to have him leave. Though I am seeing him again in a couple of weeks.

Anyway, I think that having a cold is a bit of a hurdle in a relationship.  We got to be around each other when we were ill and survived.  Luckily I did not get too ugly while he was here.  I get real ugly when I have a cold, so he has that to look forward to.  Child, I am not pretty when I get really bad sinus issues.  Man, that is some heinous bullshit that happens to my face.

I have been slacking on the home front though and actually need to clean my place up.  One of my closest friends from college is coming to visit this weekend.  I am super stoked.  We met on the first day of school.  I sat next to her in Communications and did not have my book yet.  She offered to share and we hung out like every day after.  Love her.  She lives in San Diego.  Last time I saw her was in 2004 I think.  Booo.  We often do not talk for months, maybe even a year; but as soon as we speak to each other, it just feels like home.  Soul sisters, I guess.  Cannot wait to see her.

Fatally Cool had a show last night.  We decided to improve some stuff in there, just to change things up.  We usually have a very specific set list because it's a performance art piece and has a story line.  A bit like a musical, really.  But after we performed at bigger nightclub, we decided that we need to be more rock band.  It was a fun show.  I was struggling a bit, but held my own I think.  My band mate Manny & I decided to throw in "Rid of Me" by PJ Harvey.  A song I have only recently discovered, despite it being from the 90's.  We had never ever done it together - at all.  We kind of sang it in the corner together quietly right before the show, but that was it.  It was well received though - so yay for us.  In honor of St. Patty's Day, we all also did a completely improvised mash up The Cranberries "Zombie" and U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday".  I think I am brilliant for thinking that up (which I had before, it was something we were going to work on, but did not have time to do), to be honest.  I mean, they are two major war/conflict songs.  Not really happy drunk Irish crap at all.  It was fun though.  I fucked up some parts, but whatever.  i was a snare tone deaf last night.

Hope all of you beautiful people are well and have a glorious weekend!

Music Makes the World Go Round

I keep missing the sign up for the guitar class that I want to take and it gets filled up.  I even have Groupons, so they are paid for.  I need to use them.  I have this amazing guitar that I cannot play.  Silliness.  I need to sign up mid April.  Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to remind me.

I have a band called Fatally Cool.  We do random covers and mashups.  In our latest show, we have a storyline that follows a woman with relationship and identity issues, her boyfriend that molests her son and the boy's doll/imaginary friend that helps him cope.  It's actually not that dark musically, but writing that - it seems like a drag.  It's really not though.  I've linked a you tube video of one of our songs.  We have a channel now: FatallyCoolForever.  Though my band mate has more videos on his channel.  If you are curious you can look up Fatally Cool or check out the links below.

Lullaby

Father Figure

Don't Stop

I have to be honest, I was not at my best that night, but the show must go on!  I will be posting more videos later.

Let's Pretend Airplanes Are Shooting Stars

I got totally sucked into the MTV Video Awards on Sunday night.  I spent the day at my friend's pool, we had dinner, and then lounged and watched the show.  Lazy bitches.
Anyway, I really know nothing about top 40 music.  I do not listen to the radio at all.  I may randomly catch something, like in a lobby or on a commercial.  But I have heard that song "Airplane" by B.O.B.  Not Bob, B.O.B. (note the blog title)

I was completely creased that Kanye was so revered throughout the evening after what he did last year.  I did not see that show, but did catch his bullshit shenanigans on you tube or something. In case you missed it, he interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for winning best female video to complain that Beyonce should have won.  I am not a fan of Taylor, but the poor kid got her moment completely stolen.  She's never gonna win that shit again.  Apparently Beyonce ended up winning video of the year for that bullshit Put a Ring On It or some shit, I don't even know, anyway.  Bitch is ridiculous and sucks.  Sorry, she does.  Actually all their songs sound the same.  Not as each other, but it's the same tripe.

I do not know what it is with the Chicago boys.  R. Kelly is peeing on minors and Kanye has an ego the size of Kansas.  Seems like Common is at least normal.  Thanks for keeping it real, brother, though I have no idea what you sound like.  At least he is not a scandalous dick.  I can love a guy for that. Solid.

I liked Kanye's music.  I have his first three CD's.  I didn't pay for them, of course; because I do not remember the last album I paid for; but I do have them and they are so good.  (I take that back, it was The New Year by The New Year in 2008.  I fucking love them.) Anyway, he is such a fucking jackass, I don't want to support him.  Why you gotta ruin everything Kanye?

Firstly, I do not think he should have been even invited to the VMAs and to headline the show on top of it.  Ridiculous.  His intro by Aziz Ansari  was not only not funny, it was douchebaggery at it's finest.  I know they are buds and shit, but really - Kanye is a dick and it needs to be acknowledged.

Kanye, you are a dick.

To top it off, the bullshit he sang was the most ridiculous song I have ever heard.  I think it had something to do with a woman reading his emails and shit but also:

And I always find, yeah, I always find somethin' wrong
You been puttin' up wit' my shit just way too long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast
Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

Uuhhhh, is you toasting yourself there little buddy?  For real?  Are you trying to rap about other people being assholes?  And are you calling people that do not call off work jerk offs.  Don't make be get racial up in here, because don't think for a minute that this white bitch did not catch that.  Arty don't play.

And to top it, his flow was off.  Off! He bit it.

Kanye, what the FUCK are you doing?  I mean, for real.  You are so much better than this shit.  Come on. "Stronger" is fucking beautiful.  You even got me to be cool with praising the lord in song with "Jesus Walks".  Have you guys heard that?  It's got a killer beat.  Yet you pull a dick move and then perform this bullshit song.
I bite my thumb at you, sir.

How is this ass munch getting so much attention when we all know the best rap artist is Mos Def?  It's not up for debate.  Mos Def.

I actually did see a shooting star tonight, by the way.
And I really could use a wish right now.
Or maybe some milk & cookies.