They Try to Copy My Swagger

Look at Tina Fey's kid.  That is one confident little girl.  And possibly the coolest kid ever.  Though Kinston is pretty awesome.  Gavin Rosdale & Gwen Stephani's boy.

I am a super crabby apple cake.  Lord have mercy.  PMS is crushing my soul.  Though really, it's not.  I find that it's just that I am more sensitive, so things that always bother me are not being swept under the rug.  I tend to want to me more confrontational.  I mean, people get on my nerves...often.

Part of it is that I analyze everything.  I am talking everything.   So when someone interrupts when I am speaking, that equals "I do not care what you have to say, I am more important than you"

You can say that they are not thinking that, but really....deep down they are.  And it's fucking annoying.  One of my girlfriends does it to me all the time.  Like I start a sentence and she completely takes over.  Honestly, all I can do is trow my hands in the air in exasperation.  I actually did that while I was walking down the street talking to my sweety (sorry honey).  I was like "oh my god, let me finish my thought".  I actually just stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

Why do people do this?  And why the fuck do they do it to me?  I must be too polite about it.   It kind of makes me want to cry because it frustrates me so damn much.  I apparently need to be more vocal about it.  It's an issue.  I am quite aware of it.

I want to get a word in. Why do I have to be silent?  If you don't want to listen, let's not talk - how about that?

Last night I was talking to my man and my bestie interrupted.  I told him I was on the phone (on FB - he sent a message that he was going to call me).  He decided to call anyway and proceeds to speak loudly on the machine (yes, I have a land line also) and though he was being funny I thought maybe something was up.  So I answer it and he starts talking about nothing important and doesn't shut up.  I was like "I am on the phone - what's up?"

After a few minutes, an exasperated Mac is like - "Call me back."  I do not blame him for being annoyed.  He should have been the priority.  And he was in my heart.  My friend was just being obnoxious.  It was annoying.  I was so frazzled.

So I am on the phone with my friend for a bit and the whole time I am completely irritated, concerned that Mac is upset, and annoyed because I have never interrupted my friend when he was talking to his boyfriend.  I don't call him when he is about to have dinner with him and then say - "you see him all the time; talk to me."  Frankly, he just would not have answered the phone, which is what I should have done.  I noticed this pattern with us in the last year.  I am always available, he is only available when it's convenient.  It's bullshit.

Yet he did run out and get me meds when my ulcer freaked out on me last week.  Friendships have their struggles.  I am sure he is dealing with the fact that I am moving.  We've actually had nothing but time to spend together while I have been out of work.  I think he is realizing that he should have taken advantage of our schedules.  He works odd shifts, so it's pretty easy for us to get together.

Did I quote the Black Eyed Peas as my title?  Forgive me.  But I had to.  Look at the mini-Fey.  She has so much swagger!

Tonight is a fun filled evening with my girl and My Life With the Thrill Kill Cult and Front 242.  Bring on the industrial.

Lord Have Mercy

So I was just blog surfing a bit by hitting the "next blog" button up at the top.

Ummm....every single blog was about Jesus.  I lie - one was by a Muslim woman.  But all the other ones, and I mean like 10 or more in a row were god or christian related.

For real?

I mean, people feel connected and want to write the good word.  Good for them.  I was just amazed that every single blog I hit was religious based.

Does blogger go to blogs it thinks you want?  If so there is definitely something wrong with that system.  Where it thought it saw that I wanted that is beyond me.  Or is Blogger trying to save me after I posted a picture of the kitchen witch?

Hard to tell.

I had to break down and get antibiotics. I know...right after I posted about holistic health.  But that stuff is not going to heal  me in the immediate future and I literally cannot breathe.  Like I am so stuffed up that not only can I not breathe, but my nose is running.  You know what that means?  I cannot blow my nose.  I have to sit there with a freaking tissue (notice I am trying to behave with my language?) held up against my schnaze.

I am so unbelievably gross right now, I cannot even deal with myself.  I have become a mouth breather for crying out loud.  It's hard to drink water even.

The silver lining, because you know I always find one, is that - well two things:

1) I was able to breathe for approximately one minute and was cheering, much to the delight of my boyfriend who I was on the horn with.  Poor guy has had to deal with me complaining and mouth breathing and trying to blow my nose for days now.

2) The only thing that is at all pleasing and easy to eat is ice cream.  So yes, I am indulging.  I had coconut yesterday and bought some butter pecan and vanilla (there were on sale - gotta love buy on get one free) when I went to get drugs this evening.

I hate having to take drugs, but I simply could not take it anymore.  I hate the side effects that sometimes antibiotics cause, but decided that I need some air.

Which is a great song by Urge Overkill by the way, "Need Some Air".  I will have to listen to that tomorrow or right now.  Man, they are fantastic.  Happy listening, should you decide to. 

I couldn't find it for you online, but did find "Sister Havana".  Enjoy!

http://youtu.be/yzFlPdHt1Gk

New Directions

I am toying with some ideas on how to make a living without having to be a corporate whore.  No one is biting anyway, even though I've applied to a million places.  The good thing is that I am at least interviewing for senior positions; the bad thing is that they are not hiring me - because I've been out of the market for so long.  I call discrimination.

That's ok.  Let them hire some chump that looks good on paper but makes bad decisions and has no ethics.  I have seen it dozens of times in my field.  I will not change my ways to compete with scumbags.  Damn the money is good though.

I have always backburnered something that actually felt right to me.  I thought it was too flaky to do and perhaps would not be taken seriously.  But Frigg got me thinking about it during her visit.  She reminded me about how much happier I am when I am doing things more holistically.  And this cold is beating the snot out of me - literally.  I am annoyed that I have to take drugs for it. 

Yes, your Arty is a bit of a hippie.  I know, I know...shocker.

I actually know Reiki, though I am not formally trained.  I dabble with herbs (and I do not mean weed).  Scoff if you want to; all I know is it made people feel tons better.  When people ask me how I know how to do things - I'm like "I just do".  Maybe I should be doing something with those gifts.

I was talking to Mac about it the other day and he was way supportive.  I plan on getting certified to be a Holistic Health Practitioner so I can be full on legit.  Learning about natural medicine intrigues me.  I would love to take a completely natural approach to medications.  At the rate I am going, my liver will give out.  F-that.  So many drugs are full of toxins.  Our poor livers.   I also want to learn herbology and actually make tinctures.   Anyway, the whole process will help me get healthy, I am sure; and then I will be able to help others.  I could even consult.  Many health centers have someone like that on staff.  I am not sure where I am going with it, but I am going to go somewhere.  I suppose CA is a good place for that as well.  Reason for everything.

Oooo, will that make me a witch doctor?  Awesome.

Except I won't be scamming anyone.  Isn't that what witch doctors were said to do?  Yeah, I don't play like that.

My Teeth Hurt

Seriously, I want to clone myself,  make myself microscopic, go inside my body and go Chuck Norris on this virus that is messing my shit up.

Lord have mercy.

I had grand plans to go shopping today.  Included on the list were tissues with lotion and some kind of cold remedy.  It's raining and I am going nowhere.  I am made of sugar after all.  I will melt!

And for real, my teeth do hurt.  Ah! My Sinus.

We used to watch The Jungle Book all the time in college.  each of us related best or was represented well by each of the characters.  It was interesting.  One was really silly and laid back, like Baloo. One super graceful, like Bageera, the panther.

I was the clumsy stealth machine known as Kaa, the snake.  It was almost painful to watch.  He's all slick and trying to be seductive or sneaky and inevitably something goes wrong and his plan is thwarted.  Usually, he falls or smacks his head and is all "my sinus"  which I full on relate to.  I used to have issues, being a smoker and all.

I still have issues apparently.    Ugh.  I am such a cry baby sometimes.  but I'll get over it.  You know why?  Because really I am:

That's right.

I do not usually pose questions, but I am such a fan of nostalgia.  What were some favorite cartoon characters?  I was a huge fan of Loony Tunes.  I am sure that is where I get some of my sense of humor and love of Wagner.  I mean, what a brilliant way to introduce classical music and intelligent adult humor to children.  Elmer Fudd singing "kill the rabbit" to the tune of Flight of the Valkaries...come on.

Let The Right One In

Sometimes when my friends think I am being too hard on someone or not giving them a chance, I shrug and say "Let the right one in."  I say it often actually, in various situations.  It is universal. 

It is not easy to be allowed into my world.  That may seem odd for me to say in what is basically an online diary; but to truly get there takes a long time.

I remember Mark, after about 3 years of us hanging out regularly looked at me in the middle of a conversation and said "Finally.  I'm in!  God damn, that took a long time."  We've been friends for over 15 years.  Let the right one in.

It's not necessarily a reflection of the person.  I am not saying "you should feel special that I let you in". I am simply precious is all.  I can't have some clumsy fucker trying to handle my shit. China dolls are hard & cold, yet fragile. 

Mark and I were discussing a fellow I was talking to on here.  We could not figure out what his deal was. I was like "am I being too easy?"  and we both immediately burst out laughing.  I meant it in a "not being enough of a challenge" way. He was like "that is the last word I would use to describe you".  Not that I am a difficult person, I am congenial - I just do not make it easy for someone to be let in.

But you know what?  Sometimes I am too challenging.  Yet when I am not, I am reminded: let the right one in.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about the movie.  Which of course, when I discovered it, was geeked about the title.

The best movie I saw last year was the Swedish film "Let the Right One In".  Did you pervs see this shit?  It was the most amazing vampire movie I have ever seen.  I shouldn't niche it by saying "vampire movie".  It's a thriller and it's amazing.  The story is brilliant.  It's creepy, seductive and beautiful.  Love it.

Hollywood is of course farting all over it with a remake called "Let Me In".  I admit I did not initially hate the trailer I saw online a long time ago; but am calling shenanigans on the new TV trailers.  Of course, there's some car chase/crash or some shit and she says something in this demon voice, because it's Hollywood and budgets and shock value reign supreme.

They are also changing the meaning of what's going on. Let Me In sounds all like someone's trying to get you. Which is the case, I suppose, but not how you'd expect.  It's more like she's letting the right one in.  I don't want to give too much of it away.  It's so fucking good.  Please watch the original.  It's amazing.  I would not lie to you.

And remember: let the right one in.
XOXO