Some Like It Hot

In the last two days I have proven my tenacity, toughness, and perhaps stupidity.  Well not stupid - just very stubborn.

I have always said that people that can handle living in Chicago can handle any environment. 
We have some crazy ass weather here.  Today for example, 92 degrees - feels like 102 degrees.

Oh you didn't know that in Chicago, we get TWO temperatures?  Oh, we do, as in the thermostat will read 80 and it will be so damn humid out that it actually feels like 88.    Or in winter, we have a wind chill factor.  So like it may be 18, but will feel like -1.  Yeah, negative.  And negative 1 is not as brutal as it gets.  I am not complaining.  I am just telling it like it is.

We are in a heat wave right now and, son of a bitch - my central air went out on Sunday night.  I was talking to the fiance and was like "I am hot as hell and the air has been running non-stop.  Shit!  It's 80 degrees in here!"

Today it hit 88...in my apartment.  Right now it's a breezy 87.  I am not shitting you.  It was so hot that a spider was hanging out in my toilet.  I have seen spiders maybe twice in the last 7 years.  That bitch was hot.  I flushed him so I could take a dump.

I have stayed in this whole time.  Why?  Because I could not stand the thought of leaving my cat.  I was so worried that he may get heat stroke or something and I would not be here to take care of him. He actually seems fine, but I would not have been able to relax.  I would have been stressing out about him.

Anyway, my point is, I am surviving.  It's amazing that I could feel it drop down to 87 after it had been running for a bit,  I was like - huh, it's cooler in here.  I have been cranky as hell, but you know, toughing it out.

Just another sign that it is time to move.

When Mac first mentioned how hot it gets in summer out there I was like - eeek.  But it's dry.  You can walk out without sweating immediately.  It makes a huge difference.  So, dry 100 degrees in summer and a balmy 25 degrees in winter?  Yeah...cake walk.

Have you all seen "Some Like It Hot?  One of the best movies ever with one of - if not the best last line.  I am not kidding.  I try to post a scene, but blogger is not having it today.  All I can say is do yourself a favor and rent that mother.

That Darn Cat

I have never seen that movie.  I hear it's a Disney classic though.  Of course they had to fart it up with a modern version.  I guess Christina Ricci was in it, but it did not feature her being chained to a radiator so no one saw it.  I admit I saw Black Snake Moan, but I had received it through Neflix and it sat at my house for like two months before I did.

Why the Hollywood machine insists on  making remakes, I will never understand.  If they were any sort of smart, they would simply re-release the originals at the theaters.  They are already made and the royalties would be alot less than paying new non talent hacks. Just saying.

I had a horrifying experience the other day.  Of course, I am going to share with you because you deserve to hear it.

I made a nice little dinner for myself on Sunday.  My dining table  is conveniently arranged for easy access to the kitchen and well as having a perfect view of the TV.  That's actually insignificant.

Anyway,   I look into the room that the cat had been in & where his box is.  I notice something on the floor.  I go in inspect.

My cat's ass apparently exploded!  There was feliniarrhea everywhere.  It was gruesome.  I compose myself and start to clean up and realize...this is smeared....paws have been in this.  Yipes.

I have to hunt him down and give him a bath pronto.  He did not put up much of a fight.  Luckily, there was no collateral damage to the rest of the house.  But he did have some yuckiness on his tail.  He protested a snare, but let me bathe him.  I know I have mentioned before that he is a really good cat.  He is currently sitting on my shoulder and still smells like baby shampoo.  Precious.

So I am in a panic.  Do I take him to the hospital?  I call the boyfriend and leave a message.  I decide to call his vet and leave a message to go see her on Monday.  Meanwhile, one of my girlfriends calls and Mac calls me back.  Total chaos.  As I talked to my friend though, I realized that, while he did have the booty flu, what caused the mess is that it got on his tail.  Poor lamb.

Don't worry - I bleached the crap out of everything.  No pun intended.

Look how ridiculously cute he is.

He's better now, in case you're wondering.  He still has a little bit of the booty flu, but it's not like uber liquid.  More like a mini cow flop.  Awesome.

Smooches!

Where's Gojira When You Need Him?

image by Tankor89

What's up with Americans changing Gojira to Godzilla anyway?  I mean they are both made up names.  It makes zero sense to me.

Arty is not a fan of moths.  They kind of freak me out a little.  First off, anything with more that four appendages (five if you include a tail) wigs me.  I'm ain't playing.  I mean, crustaceans?  Exoskeletons?!!  Why do you think every scary space thriller or even on earth scary movie has a monster that pretty much is a giant bug?  Because exoskeletons are a fucking weird ass thing.

Secondly, I have super curly hair.  You know what happens when a moth decides to fly into it?  The get trapped and you are stuck hearing flapping of wings in you ear until you shake it out, though usually you end up inadvertently killing the thing.  And least that's how I roll.  That flapping...it sounds likes Hannibal Lecter whispering sweet nothings into your ear and is about as pleasant.  Granted, a moth is not thinking of snacking on you with a bottle of Chianti, but it's still an uncomfortable sound.

So, I am in the bathroom, minding my own business when in flies a nice sized moth. It's kind of pale yellow and almost pretty.  Right behind it is my little hunter.  Roche' (row - shay) loves when a flying insect gets in the house.  frankly, I do not need a fly swatter.  Generally they get in when I leave the back door open, like if I am grilling, or even just hanging out there.  I leave it open so Roche' can come out and get some air, but only when I am out there.  I once saw him take down 3 flies in like 10 minutes.  He looked like a mini-panther.  It was awesome.

Anyway, I managed to let this on get out of the bathroom window.  The cat it totally bummed.  He wanted to catch that thing.  I still cannot figure out how it got in though!  The bathroom is the brightest room on that side f the place.  There are no curtains on the window, though you cannot see in or out, and at night, the porch light is right in front so I rarely need to even turnon th light in there. Except when it's make up time.  Come on now.

One night a couple of years ago Roche' was going nuts.  Like a madman.  Madcat.  Whatever.  I follow him into the bathroom.  I look up at the window and shriek in horror. And don't think for a minute I do not mean actual horror movie shriek.

Mothra is in my house.  Seriously, it's wingspan was at least 4 inches.

I do not think I got Mothra out alive.  I was too freaked out to care.  But in hunting to figure out how the beast got in, I realized that I had left the top of the window open.  I had cleaned the windows like two weeks before, maybe even more.  When I did, I apparently did not put the window back up to the top.  It was kinda hidden bu the curtains, so I didn't notice.

Whatever.  Keep your windows closed and cats or pet of choice near.  Those moths are coming to get us.

image by Tankor89

Oscar Night

One of my favorite things to do over the last couple years is "watch" a competitive event with my friend from my home town.  By watch, I mean we each watch at home and have a complete dialogue about it on Facebook.  Last year, we were all over the Olympics.  Honestly, I do not talk to her otherwise.  It's funny that we do it, but it's so much fun for some reason.  It's out 'thing' I guess.

I used to be so into the Oscars.  Would have a party or at least have a get together with a couple people.  Now I am perfectly content sitting at home and chatting with my girlfriend.   Technology keeps us apart it seems - yet really keeps us together.  Like I said, I would not really keep in touch with her otherwise.  Let's face it, Facebook has changed the way we communicate.

When I changed my relationship status, the thing blew up.  Funny, I did not think anyone would really pay attention to it.

Anyway, Oscars.  man I was so into it.  I saw every movie before the event.  I had such an investment for me.  Now, I think I've seen 2 of the films that are being mentioned.

I did love True Grit.  I know it was a remake, but damn was it good.  I also saw it with my sweetheart at this awesome theater.  We had reserved seating in a love seat.  Total comfort and we got to have dinner while we were in there.  It was so delish.  If you are ever in Chicago, I recommend the IKON theater.  There is also one in Minneapolis, I believe.  And I saw Inception, which I thought was awesome.

Next on my list is  The King's Speech , love me some Colin Firth, and Black Swan

It is weird watching the awards without really knowing anything about the movies.  But I can't keep away from the fashions.  Love seeing what people are wearing.

What is up with the fellows in white tuxes though?  Not sure if I am a fan.  I am a fan of Anne Hathaway and James Franco being hosts though.  Love them.

Happy Oscar night.  Hope you are enjoying!

Trent Reznor just won an Oscar!  About time his genius was recognized.

Let The Right One In

Sometimes when my friends think I am being too hard on someone or not giving them a chance, I shrug and say "Let the right one in."  I say it often actually, in various situations.  It is universal. 

It is not easy to be allowed into my world.  That may seem odd for me to say in what is basically an online diary; but to truly get there takes a long time.

I remember Mark, after about 3 years of us hanging out regularly looked at me in the middle of a conversation and said "Finally.  I'm in!  God damn, that took a long time."  We've been friends for over 15 years.  Let the right one in.

It's not necessarily a reflection of the person.  I am not saying "you should feel special that I let you in". I am simply precious is all.  I can't have some clumsy fucker trying to handle my shit. China dolls are hard & cold, yet fragile. 

Mark and I were discussing a fellow I was talking to on here.  We could not figure out what his deal was. I was like "am I being too easy?"  and we both immediately burst out laughing.  I meant it in a "not being enough of a challenge" way. He was like "that is the last word I would use to describe you".  Not that I am a difficult person, I am congenial - I just do not make it easy for someone to be let in.

But you know what?  Sometimes I am too challenging.  Yet when I am not, I am reminded: let the right one in.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about the movie.  Which of course, when I discovered it, was geeked about the title.

The best movie I saw last year was the Swedish film "Let the Right One In".  Did you pervs see this shit?  It was the most amazing vampire movie I have ever seen.  I shouldn't niche it by saying "vampire movie".  It's a thriller and it's amazing.  The story is brilliant.  It's creepy, seductive and beautiful.  Love it.

Hollywood is of course farting all over it with a remake called "Let Me In".  I admit I did not initially hate the trailer I saw online a long time ago; but am calling shenanigans on the new TV trailers.  Of course, there's some car chase/crash or some shit and she says something in this demon voice, because it's Hollywood and budgets and shock value reign supreme.

They are also changing the meaning of what's going on. Let Me In sounds all like someone's trying to get you. Which is the case, I suppose, but not how you'd expect.  It's more like she's letting the right one in.  I don't want to give too much of it away.  It's so fucking good.  Please watch the original.  It's amazing.  I would not lie to you.

And remember: let the right one in.
XOXO