Oscar Night

One of my favorite things to do over the last couple years is "watch" a competitive event with my friend from my home town.  By watch, I mean we each watch at home and have a complete dialogue about it on Facebook.  Last year, we were all over the Olympics.  Honestly, I do not talk to her otherwise.  It's funny that we do it, but it's so much fun for some reason.  It's out 'thing' I guess.

I used to be so into the Oscars.  Would have a party or at least have a get together with a couple people.  Now I am perfectly content sitting at home and chatting with my girlfriend.   Technology keeps us apart it seems - yet really keeps us together.  Like I said, I would not really keep in touch with her otherwise.  Let's face it, Facebook has changed the way we communicate.

When I changed my relationship status, the thing blew up.  Funny, I did not think anyone would really pay attention to it.

Anyway, Oscars.  man I was so into it.  I saw every movie before the event.  I had such an investment for me.  Now, I think I've seen 2 of the films that are being mentioned.

I did love True Grit.  I know it was a remake, but damn was it good.  I also saw it with my sweetheart at this awesome theater.  We had reserved seating in a love seat.  Total comfort and we got to have dinner while we were in there.  It was so delish.  If you are ever in Chicago, I recommend the IKON theater.  There is also one in Minneapolis, I believe.  And I saw Inception, which I thought was awesome.

Next on my list is  The King's Speech , love me some Colin Firth, and Black Swan

It is weird watching the awards without really knowing anything about the movies.  But I can't keep away from the fashions.  Love seeing what people are wearing.

What is up with the fellows in white tuxes though?  Not sure if I am a fan.  I am a fan of Anne Hathaway and James Franco being hosts though.  Love them.

Happy Oscar night.  Hope you are enjoying!

Trent Reznor just won an Oscar!  About time his genius was recognized.

Music Makes the World Go Round

I keep missing the sign up for the guitar class that I want to take and it gets filled up.  I even have Groupons, so they are paid for.  I need to use them.  I have this amazing guitar that I cannot play.  Silliness.  I need to sign up mid April.  Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to remind me.

I have a band called Fatally Cool.  We do random covers and mashups.  In our latest show, we have a storyline that follows a woman with relationship and identity issues, her boyfriend that molests her son and the boy's doll/imaginary friend that helps him cope.  It's actually not that dark musically, but writing that - it seems like a drag.  It's really not though.  I've linked a you tube video of one of our songs.  We have a channel now: FatallyCoolForever.  Though my band mate has more videos on his channel.  If you are curious you can look up Fatally Cool or check out the links below.

Lullaby

Father Figure

Don't Stop

I have to be honest, I was not at my best that night, but the show must go on!  I will be posting more videos later.

When It's Time to Change

I have decided to make this my new blog home.  I have been writing on another site riddled with drama and adults acting like 13 year old girls.  Over it.

But let's not make this a negative post, as I may perhaps get some new readers.  I am cantankerous at times; but at heart a pollyanna.

I am currently undergoing some serious changes in my life.  I have been out of work (thank you economy) for over a year and am finally seeing some viable options.  Not necessarily in my field, but things that are a good fit.  Fingers crossed.

I have also met the love of my life.  Some of you that may know me from elsewhere may be surprised to hear me say it.  I was not expecting to find him where I did, but it happened.  Can I get all girly and tell you?

I actually found his blog on a dating site.  I was simply drawn to him.  He was intelligent - a huge turn on for me. - and there was just something about him.   Then I saw that he lived in California.  What?!  Annoying.  But then he came to my blog and we exchanged comments, pretty innocuous in nature.  He decided to totally man up and email me.   He mentioned something like "I am not sure if you are feeling this too"  I was like "yup, sure am"  And a romance was born.

We see each other every two weeks and talk on the phone every night for hours.  I never wanted a long distance relationship and it is difficult at times.  Being faithful - that's the easy part.  I don't want to be with anyone else.  It's just hard not to physically be together.  Yes, this Chicago girl may be moving out to Cali.  He is everything that I have wanted in a partner.  It's quite amazing.

Mush, I know.  But it is what is going on in my world.

City Lights Make Me Happy

My Dear Old Dirty Town

Ghost bum sleeping

Ahh...my dirty city.  I actually uploaded several photos but they are not showing up.

I had a terrific evening.  Took my stroll through the city and caught some nice moments.  I look forward to sharing, once I figure out how.

I had two important conversations this evening, both of which were eating me up inside a bit.  One with one of my best friends that actually stood me up yesterday (the horror) and one with the fellow that dumped me a few weeks ago.

I am feeling so much better.

My friend is just a pussy sometimes.  He just got busy and for some reason did not think to call me.  I wanted to punch him in the neck.  I was walking right by his office and he happened to be outside.  I was like "I am so mad at you right now, but I had to come say hi".  I love him, but he is ridiculous sometimes.  He apologized, of course.  I am so laid back - I do not know why people are afraid to confront me.  They think I will freak out and I never do.

I wanted to talk to the fellow I had been dating.  He had dumped me via text, by the way, and I have been surprisingly miserable since.  I think it was feeling like I had meant so little to him bruised my ego.  We were not super serious, but were exclusive for about two months.  Not enough, it seems for the average bear to become so upset, I know.  I generally am not that girl.  I understand the casualness of dating.  Something about this was different.  I am still not sure exactly what it was.  All I know it that it felt different.  It felt bigger.  Maybe it was simply because I was ready.  Maybe my light is on. Or maybe I was just pissed ( read: hurt) that he felt a text was appropriate.  I wasn't some trick he had for a one night stand.

Anyway, I decided that instead of being all doom and gloom, I just needed to get his story.  I was taking some pictures near (meaning like 6 blocks) his place.  He happen to be on his way home from work, asked where I was and told me he was on his way. We sat by the river and we had a little chat.  It was bittersweet with zero drama; and at least I know now that my theories were correct. I was sick of hearing my friends get on the man hating train and saying that he's an asshole.  I knew he wasn't.  I knew I had not been that duped. 

Sometimes people are simply not meant to be together.  It is what it is.  

After three weeks, I can finally breathe though.  I hate speculation.  It causes anxiety and no reward.

Chicken Soup For the Stroll

I am not gonna lie people.  I am in a funk.  I have been out of work for quite some time now.  It's brutal right now, as many of you may know.  I am educated, diligent and diversely eperienced. The rejection is killing me softy.
 I've worked hard to establish my career path, but thanks to the greed of a few bad men, I got screwed up the butt with a 2 liter of Pepsi; along with many others.  I have several friends in the same position that do not work in my industry.  One just found a terrific job (after 18 months) , with tremendous pay and benefits.  I have to think that my turn is coming.

Truth also be told, I am unbelievably heartbroken.  I'll leave that story for another day.

It's difficult to keep your head up.  I am generally cantankerous - but it is for the sake of humor.  Maybe I watched too much All in the Family as a kid.  That and Welcome Back Kotter.  So crank and sarcasm reign supreme in my world.

I have always been a bastion of positivity and strength.  When things go wrong, people come to me.  When they need advice, tough love, compassion, empathy, comfort, or laughter; I am there.  It's easy for me to make things better for others; yet it is somehow difficult for me to do those things for myself. 

 When the person that fixes everything breaks, no one knows what to do.  My friends are at a loss.  I have had some kindness from strangers and, though that is a small comfort; it is not the same.

You can't hurt steel.  At least that's what I have always thought.  I was wrong.
And when a tower falls, people do not know how to start fixing it.

I promise I am not always so depressing.  This is a dark time for me.  I suppose all artists have these periods.  Perhaps I will create some masterpieces.

I am going to go downtown tonight to take pictures.  I found some great shots last night, but did not have my camera.  Hopefully I will see them again...well I won't because it will not be the same; but I hope to get something interesting.

I just had some homemade chicken soup.  It didn't really do much for me; but I did realize that I should not eat soup in public because I slurp like a beast.  Note to self: never order the soup when on a date.

Let's Pretend Airplanes Are Shooting Stars

I got totally sucked into the MTV Video Awards on Sunday night.  I spent the day at my friend's pool, we had dinner, and then lounged and watched the show.  Lazy bitches.
Anyway, I really know nothing about top 40 music.  I do not listen to the radio at all.  I may randomly catch something, like in a lobby or on a commercial.  But I have heard that song "Airplane" by B.O.B.  Not Bob, B.O.B. (note the blog title)

I was completely creased that Kanye was so revered throughout the evening after what he did last year.  I did not see that show, but did catch his bullshit shenanigans on you tube or something. In case you missed it, he interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for winning best female video to complain that Beyonce should have won.  I am not a fan of Taylor, but the poor kid got her moment completely stolen.  She's never gonna win that shit again.  Apparently Beyonce ended up winning video of the year for that bullshit Put a Ring On It or some shit, I don't even know, anyway.  Bitch is ridiculous and sucks.  Sorry, she does.  Actually all their songs sound the same.  Not as each other, but it's the same tripe.

I do not know what it is with the Chicago boys.  R. Kelly is peeing on minors and Kanye has an ego the size of Kansas.  Seems like Common is at least normal.  Thanks for keeping it real, brother, though I have no idea what you sound like.  At least he is not a scandalous dick.  I can love a guy for that. Solid.

I liked Kanye's music.  I have his first three CD's.  I didn't pay for them, of course; because I do not remember the last album I paid for; but I do have them and they are so good.  (I take that back, it was The New Year by The New Year in 2008.  I fucking love them.) Anyway, he is such a fucking jackass, I don't want to support him.  Why you gotta ruin everything Kanye?

Firstly, I do not think he should have been even invited to the VMAs and to headline the show on top of it.  Ridiculous.  His intro by Aziz Ansari  was not only not funny, it was douchebaggery at it's finest.  I know they are buds and shit, but really - Kanye is a dick and it needs to be acknowledged.

Kanye, you are a dick.

To top it off, the bullshit he sang was the most ridiculous song I have ever heard.  I think it had something to do with a woman reading his emails and shit but also:

And I always find, yeah, I always find somethin' wrong
You been puttin' up wit' my shit just way too long
I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast
Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

Uuhhhh, is you toasting yourself there little buddy?  For real?  Are you trying to rap about other people being assholes?  And are you calling people that do not call off work jerk offs.  Don't make be get racial up in here, because don't think for a minute that this white bitch did not catch that.  Arty don't play.

And to top it, his flow was off.  Off! He bit it.

Kanye, what the FUCK are you doing?  I mean, for real.  You are so much better than this shit.  Come on. "Stronger" is fucking beautiful.  You even got me to be cool with praising the lord in song with "Jesus Walks".  Have you guys heard that?  It's got a killer beat.  Yet you pull a dick move and then perform this bullshit song.
I bite my thumb at you, sir.

How is this ass munch getting so much attention when we all know the best rap artist is Mos Def?  It's not up for debate.  Mos Def.

I actually did see a shooting star tonight, by the way.
And I really could use a wish right now.
Or maybe some milk & cookies.