It's 4am; Do You Know Where Your Cat Is?

I see on Facebook that a few friends and friends of friends are awake with a lovely case on insomnia.  What up with that?

I am having a bit of anxiety myself.  I am preparing for a new chapter and it is going to be pretty; but requires much change.  I am not moving in with my sweetheart tomorrow, but it seems the route we are taking for sure.  Given our circumstances the logical move is for me to go to CA.  I am not opposed to warm weather and fresh fruits and veggies.  In fact, I am super looking forward to that.

I am also looking forward to being with him and to going to school to take a new direction in my career.  Sometimes you have to know when to fold 'em.  My chosen profession is not a good industry right now and frankly, I am being overlooked because I have been out of the market for so long.  It's total bullshit.  I mean, I may be being overlooked for other reasons also, but I have been actually told that it's an issue by those that have interviewed me.  Thanks for making me feel like a total loser, dude.

I mentioned Holistic Health a post or two back; and although I do absolutely plan on becoming certified, I decided to look into the Medical industry - specifically sonography.  Nice run on sentence.  There is a need for it, so I should have no trouble finding a job.  And I think it will offer me what I need.  A well paid job with minimal stress.  So I'll have to be on my feet and deal with patients.  Whatever, I will probably make their visit a bit better.  But at least I can leave work at work.  The only thing working my ass off in my career gave me was extra poundage and an ulcer.  Spanks!

It is so stressful to get x-rays or ultrasounds done.  Well maybe not when you are preggers and not expecting any issues;  but when something is not right and you have to walk into that dark room alone...it would be nice to have a comforting person there.

I think it's a good choice for me.  And it feels right.  And it will only take me 2 years if I go full time.  And it will not cost an arm and a leg.

All good things, right?  So I do have to likely leave my fair city.  I am seriously not trilled about that but that is not what has got me in a tizzy.

It's my little lamb.

I mean, seriously...look at this little butter bean.  He's 7lbs 10 oz.  and declawed.  He is so precious, I can't stand it.  He is super well behaved, though he does have a penchant for eating ribbons and does unintentionally play with the key pad when he is snuggling with me.  He is so good about having to take his meds (ear swipe only luckily) and really doesn't put up much of a fight for anything.  He is super fun to play with too.  he follows me around like a puppy and answers me ("Where's Roche'?" - I have to do that because I have a dark rug and with no lights on I could step on him.  It's like playing Marco Polo)  or comes to me when I call him.  For real.

This little guy will not jump on any furniture, only the bed, couch, and the one living room chair.  No counters, no dressers not tables.  If he throws a toy and it lands on a table, he waits for me to find it and give it to him so he can continue playing.

I got Roche' about 6 years ago from a former boss.  He had been terrorized by the other cat.  She would not  let him do anything, that bitch.  My boss was moving and decided that he only wanted one cat.  He had the female first so did not want to give her up.  They were all staying at the hotel, so I decided to check him out.  I had never had a pet before.  Frankly, I have never been an animal person.

In fact, I had been known to say "Get that thing away from me before I make a purse out of it"

Not kidding.

Anyway, I walk into the room and I see this cat that I immediately want to punch it.  I even made the  "I am disgusted" face.  I hated it.  I was like "Is that him?" " No, he's probably hiding."

I look behind the chair and I see the sweetest creature I ever laid my eyes on.  He runs out to go hide under the bed,  But before he does, he head butts my hand.  I look at him under the bed and ask "Do you want to come home with me?"  He looks at me and mews, comes forwards and nuzzles my hand.

Done and done.

I go that night and buy a crap load to stuff: bed, litter box, toys - the works.

The night I take him home, my boss is all "I hate to let him go"  I tell him that if I take him he absolutely cannot have him back.  He tells me that he will likely hide for a week or two.  I probably will not get to see him for a bit.

I take a cab home and he presses up at close to me as possible through the kennel.  His fir is like nothing I expect from a cat.  He actually feels like the softest bunny you can imagine.

I take him home, place him in front of the litter box; which he of course goes into to hide...for 10 minutes.  He then comes out into the room that I am sitting in, mews, and lies on his back.  Seriously, belly up.

I am sure if he could speak he would have said "Ahhhh.  I am home."  That night he actually slept on me, which he still often does, or snuggles with me.  I usually wake up with him sleeping on my hip ( I sleep on my side).

I know he is not my baby, but I am responsible for him.  And I love him so much.  He is really my cat.  If I were a character in The Golden Compass, he'd be my deamon; if in Wicked, my familiar.  I basically feel that I would likely not get another cat when the time comes that age takes him.  I just do not think I would want another.  He is so perfect for me, why would I have anything less?

My boyfriend has two cats.  They are super cute, though a bit less disciplined than Roche'.   I really do love them and love me. They actually listen to me a bit.  The big guy often comes when I call him.  Mac tells me that this is quite unusual.  They are also nice cats, not mean spirited at all.

They pretty much have free reign.  Mac does not like to reprimand them for walking on living and bedroom tables.  The trouble with that is that they don't really get it that they should not walk on the kitchen counter or table or kitchen chairs.  This grosses me out to no end.  They don't do it in front of us, but they do do it.  I have caught the female on the table a few times.

We both spoil our pets in different ways.  Roche' has four beds and a sizable basket of toys.  These little guys get fed at 5am every morning and get to walk on almost everything.  He does disciple them as he deems necessary though.  Everyone has their things they do for their pets.

They also have claws.  Things do not looked torn up around here, but it kinda bothers me out that I cannot really have any nice linens or anything.

Here is the real thing.  I am terrified that they will abuse Roche'.  Seriously, the one cat could kill him.  He is over double his size/weight and a robo beast.  The smaller one could as well, as she has claws.  They are sweet enough, but I am having a super OCD anxiety attack with the image of coming home and finding my  little guy shredded to death.  I seriously cannot fall asleep because of it.

What would I do?  If I move out here and those cats are mean to my little guy, I do not know what I will do.  Get my own place?  I am certainly not getting rid of him.  And I am certainly not going to tolerate him being unhappy or scared.

He will never get to lie in the living room belly up again.  It breaks my heart a little that he will not have that security.

To a non-pet person, this may all seem ridiculous.  But I rescued that cat from a life of hiding under couches and beds, of being to scared to get some food.  He's a for real pussy cat.

But don't think that stops him from jumping up to go see what that noise was when something falls in the middle of the night or run to the door when he senses a weird outside in the hallway.  He is my cat after all, he may be little, but he's gonna try to protect me.  He's a protective little critter.  Like he can even do anything with his mini paws and no front claws.

You gotta love that spirit,  but when it comes down to it, he would probably get his ass kicked.

Okay, that Xanax is kicking in.  Nighty-night, my lovelies.

Ha ha!  The big fella just ran down the stairs, calling to me and is laying behind my head on the couch arm.  For him, that is some major affection.

Maybe he will be a good boy.